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Repairing Relationships
E valuate all my relationships, offer forgiveness to those who’ve hurt me, and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others.
Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ. Ephesians 4:31-32
PART 1: FORGIVE THOSE WHO’VE HURT ME WHY?
1. Because God has forgiven me.
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
2. Because resentment doesn’t work.
Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. Hebrews 12:14-15 (NIV)
3. Because I need forgiveness in the future.
“When you are praying, if you are angry with someone, forgive him so that your Father in heaven will also forgive your sins.” Mark 11:25 (NCV)
HOW?
1. Reveal my hurt.
Make a list of those who’ve harmed me and what they said … thought … did.
2. Release my offender.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:21–22 (NIV)
3. Replace my hurt with God’s peace.
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.” Colossians 3:15a (NIV)
PART 2: MAKE AMENDS TO THOSE I’VE HURT
WHY?
Be careful that no one fails to receive God’s grace and begins to cause trouble among you. A person like that can ruin many of you.
Hebrews 12:15 (NIV)
HOW?
1. Make a list of those I’ve harmed and what I did.
debts? broken promises? overcontrolling? overpossessive? hypercritical? abusive verbally? emotionally? physically? forgetting? unfaithful? lying?
2. Think how I’d like others to make amends to me.
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31 (NIV)
• The right Time. “There is a right time and a right way for everything.” Eccl. 8:6 (NCV)
• The right Attitude “…Speaking the truth in love.” Eph. 4:15 (NIV)
• Is it Appropriate? “Careless words stab like a sword, but wise words bring healing.” Proverbs 12:18
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Romans 12:18
3. Refocus my life.
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,” Ephesians 3: 17b-18 (NIV)
(Based on the “Recovery” series from Rick Warren – Used by Permission)
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